what all the other girls promised... sorry

Some nifty quotes from Story People to start the weekend:

My favorite thing is saying something true, she said, but I'm a lot older than you & don't have to worry so much about my reputation.

It took me a long time, she said, to stop confusing safety with love.

These are all the street signs for this area but he keeps moving them around at night so the only people who aren't lost all the time are the children who never pay attention to signs anyway.

I don't mind dancing with you, he told her one night, as long as I get to pick the dance sometimes. OK, she said, you pick. So they went home & made popcorn & looked at magazines all night long.

Abandon hope all ye who enter here because we've got too much stuff to do to be ready for the future to be sitting around hoping

He told me about Jesus & Arizona & the best way to make beer & I said you're a funny kind of preacher & he said it's a funny kind of world & I still remember his eyes clear as a desert morning.

Not exactly schizophrenic in the classical sense, but close enough that people give him all the room he needs on the sidewalk.

I need you to come home soon, she said. I'm walking around like a woman who's let herself go.

What a retarded weekend. My cousin was in visiting so, whilst beating the women off him, we got up to no good. Well, considering the little devil's on my friendlist, my 'no good' would likely be angelic! YEAH I JUST SAID IT. There was lots of marjiuana (sp?!), tequilla (not a lot for me or I'd die) and beer of all kinds. I've grown to really love my apartment in the summer, especially the deck- AMAZINGLY HUGE AND AWESOME. I'm actually in a pub right now waiting for my first date of 2009. It's a dude, he's a super nerd, and a close friend of another friend. I honestly have no idea if we have REAL chemistry because everytime I've been around him in the past 4 years he's been super intoxicated or I have. Welcome to my life. Anyway, so why not right? He's totally into marriage though, and it's just not my cup of tea and it might not ever be, but he's willing to hang out regardless. Go him! I actually can't believe I'm actually meeting up with him considering how exhausted I am but apparently I can't stop in the summertime! I end up spending way too much in the summer because I just can't stay home for too long unless I have 300 people with me. I'm going to have to take out a second mortgage in order to afford my social adventures. OH WAIT! I don't have a mortgage... maybe I'll take a second one out on my parent's mortgage. Fuck I'm being retarded. Shock. STACY AND DAN: Had Matt (Sparky) over on Friday and we're thinking of heading out to CR in October. YES? YES! Now I'm having problems remembering if it was suppose to be a surprise. ??????? We drank Friday with my cousin.

Wow, they're playing Avril in this pub. Ouch.

There's so much more to say! My dad got a job!

To a positive place he has ventured to.

This is probably one of the most hilariously adorable things I've seen in a loooooong time. WATCH IT

This is just perfect. I couldn't have explained how ridiculous the outcome of prop 8 was better myself...

Thank Christ for my hair and make up team! I'm trying to be hot here.




I'm out!

"This world is filled with things that will never make sense. Trying to make so much sense of them will only result in one thing. Spending the rest of your life trying to remember what you were like before any of it mattered."

At Last There is Nothing Left to Say by Matthew Good

Usher blames lesbianism on lack of men
by Elizabeth Bromstein

Usher's arguments begin soundly. But then it all goes to hell. Look out! Angry lesbian at two o'clock!

Usher, who has faced fair amount of backlash about his marriage, got a little defensive in the upcoming issue of Vibe.

MTV reports that he took the opportunity to sound off on the skeptics.

"Am I so much of a bad guy because I decided to get married? Am I so much of a bad guy [because once I got in the situation], I decided to stand for something, build a foundation, and think about my future?" he asked.

"As a man, you would respect me for not turning my back on it. ... It can never be bad to have a foundation as a man — a black man — in a time when women are dying for men. Women have started to become lovers of each other as a result of not having enough men. Are you not studying the stories? Wake up! Black love is a good thing."

Are you not studying the stories! Why just last week there was a report in the peer reviewed journal, American Sex and Psychology, about how lesbians are lovers of each other as a result of not having enough men (kidding! Please don't look it up). Now we know the cause. So, you can all just relax. My lesbian best friend will be so relieved when I tell her all she needs is a man!

Then, of course, there's Lindsay Lohan. And that Katy Perry chick. Get the news to her before she does something more than kiss a girl, and release another terrible song about it.

We can almost forgive Usher thanks to Love in This Club. Lucky for him he makes decent music. Now, if only we could just get him to stop talking.

"You'll get over it...' It's the cliches that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life forever. You don't get over it because 'it' is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The articularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no one else can fit it. Why would I want them to?"

~Jeanette Winterson's Written On the Body

All I have to say is it better not be -50 tomorrow... again... for reals!

I'm going to be 29 on the 29th... neato!

I love Christmas!

Finally went to church after a looonnnggg time of not going, and it was great! It was this alternative type of church. Though I'm not sure what the heck I believe in it was nice to go with my parents, and my friends Brett and Katherine!

Seasons Grettings, All!

Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible

- Francis of Assisi -

I went carolling last night at a local hospice with about six other people I work with. Though I'm not much of a religious person, I truly felt spiritual while doing it. Something was surging through me, and I'm not sure what it was. One older lady wanted us to circle around her bed while singing... she held my hand while I sang. There was another family visiting a sick loved one who had us sing by the door of the room, and the one family member cried as we sang "Silent Night".

Though I've been going through a rough time in my own head the past couple of weeks, being at the hospice among people who only have weeks left to live really puts life into perspective. It was an experience going into some of their rooms, seeing photos of thier family and life hanging on their walls. Their life and memories hanging there while they finish their purpose and journey.

Hm.

Just thought I'd share.

Love Should Feel Good
The Real Thing

Often in our lives, we fall prey to the idea of a thing rather than actually experiencing the thing itself. We see this at play in our love lives and in the love lives of our friends, our family, and even fictional characters. The conceptualizing, depiction, and pursuit of true love are multimillion-dollar industries in the modern world. However, very little of what is offered actually leads us to an authentic experience of love. Moreover, as we grasp for what we think we want and fail to find it, we may suffer and bring suffering to others. When this is the case, when we suffer more than we feel healed, we can be fairly certain that what we have found is not love but something else.

When we feel anxious, excited, nervous, and thrilled, we are probably experiencing romance, not love. Romance can be a lot of fun as long as we do not try to make too much of it. If we try to make more of it than it is, the romance then becomes painful. Romance may lead to love, but it may also fade without blossoming into anything more than a flirtation. If we cling to it and try to make it more, we might find ourselves pining for a fantasy, or worse, stuck in a relationship that was never meant to last.

Real love is identifiable by the way it makes us feel. Love should feel good. There is a peaceful quality to an authentic experience of love that penetrates to our core, touching a part of ourselves that has always been there. True love activates this inner being, filling us with warmth and light. An authentic experience of love does not ask us to look a certain way, drive a certain car, or have a certain job. It takes us as we are, no changes required. When people truly love us, their love for us awakens our love for ourselves. They remind us that what we seek outside of ourselves is a mirror image of the lover within. In this way, true love never makes us feel needy or lacking or anxious. Instead, true love empowers us with its implicit message that we are, always have been, and always will be, made of love.

The character "Brenda", "Nate's" fiance on Six Feet Under, has become increasingly annoying in Season 2. I used to think she was pretty neat, but now it's like HOLY CRAP KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS... not too mention she feels sorry for herself WAY too much.

That's my rant.